So I’ve been doing a lot of compiling of previous writings lately. I’ve been moving through a notebook of poetry I started in about 1999 or so, pulling out what still seemed relevant (or good) to me. It’s a pretty interesting process, reading something you wrote so long ago, under such different circumstances.

There’s a lot of emotion in each one of those poems, good or not, and that is something I’m rather proud of. Art should be as messy (meaning emotionally challenging) as life itself is, and reading what I wrote then has conjured up a lot of memories from that time, things I’d willfully forgotten about but came flooding back at each turn of the page.

What I’m not so happy with is how misguided that emotion was at the time. Then again, the late 90’s weren’t exactly a particular high point in my life.

I’m going to be collecting the good ones together in a new notebook. I’ve got a few other notebooks with poems in them, too, from various Creative Writing classes and seminars I went to, and if any of them make the cut, into the notebook they’ll go. Some of them will find their way here relatively soon, though I’m rather hesitant to put them out there on the Web without proper rights, etc. Still, I’d like to share them with you.

I’ll just warn you now, I never felt poetry was my strongest suit as a writer.

On Sunday, three guys from Echo Battery, the unit I deployed to Iraq with, were struck by a roadside bomb. The first, Lopez, sustained third-degree burns over 50% of his body, and is burned a total of 95%. They have already amputated both his hands. Tapia, the second one hit, has third-degree burns over 25-50% of his body, and second degree burns over much of the rest. He also has a broken leg. Lovas, the driver, was the “luckiest,” sustaining only second-degree burns (30%) and a broken wrist.

Lopez and Tapia are scheduled to be flown from Germany to the burn ward in San Antonio, TX sometime this weekend. That is, if Lopez makes it that far. He’s been in and out of the OR the whole time, and frankly, at least according to what my colonel told me, he’s not expected to make it much longer.

So, the waste continues. More lives forever changed by a colossal mistake, a colossal ongoing mistake. Every time I think about it, pictures of Tapia’s little daughter float into my mind, or I see Lovas’ crooked smile. I knew both of those guys pretty well; we deployed together, came back together, drank together a few times, and had a great working relationship. Tapia was there for the third time since the war started. Lopez I didn’t know so well, he’s a new guy who joined up after I’d left Echo. Still, Echo was a family to me for a long time (though a completely dysfunctional one), and it leaves a mark.

I also wonder about my buddy Mike, who, as Echo’s chief Corpsman (the Navy version of a medic) would have treated them. He was on really good terms with Tapia and Lovas, too. I hope he’s holding up, but I have no way of knowing until I hear from him.

If you’ve got a minute and are so inclined, say a prayer for Lopez, Tapia, and Lovas, their families, and the boys of Echo that are left behind in Iraq. If you’re not religious, good thoughts go a long way, too. I really would appreciate it.

So I haven’t taken this in the direction I had originally intended, nor have I even worked on this site for some time. I’ve not had the inspriation, nor inclination that orginally led me to purchase this domain.

That’s all going to change.

Without saying too much, I’ve been in a rut for many months, perhaps even longer. Perhaps as long as four years, the more I think about it. The rut had gotten even deeper since August, but I can finally feel a change stirring inside me. I can feel emotion returning to areas long ago atrophied, some of them having been withered so long I’d forgotten about them. I’ve been feeling quite empty for a very long time, though I’ve not realized it until the last few weeks.

A new day is dawning, and this website will be the point where the sun breaks over the horizon.